PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Randomize
