You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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