why didn't you poke me back
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
