Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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