i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
