foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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