Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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