dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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