I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
