Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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