bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
