Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
