i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
