I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
