Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Randomize
