Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
if i died would you start the facebook group?
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Randomize
