i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
After tacos, we're chasing women.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Randomize
