I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
