So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
