we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
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