I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Randomize
