Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
literally had 100 drinks last night.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Randomize
