After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Drunk walkin through police station. America
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
My vagina is very pro this idea
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
