I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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