When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
