Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Randomize
