my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
