found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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