Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
