If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
