last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
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