I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
