Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
