when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Randomize
