Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
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