i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
