Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Randomize
