True but thats because hes a fetus.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
