you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
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