Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
