i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize
