is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Randomize
