i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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