I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
