thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
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