Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
