clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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