Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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