what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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