It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
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