remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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